5 Rules of Texting that Will Change Your Marriage

texting rules

In the age of electronics, quality communication is a forgotten art.  Quick communiqués back and forth do not make for a solid marriage.  Words are important, but so are the tones and the feelings that are behind them.  To have a good marriage make sure you fill each text message with all the right information.

1.Keep text messages short and use whole words

While this concept may seem obvious, some people can text faster than most people can speak.  That does not mean the reader has time to scroll through 25 lines of text. When the receiver is checking text messages, being able to scroll through it quickly is very important.  In 2018, most phones now have the QWERTY keyboard, instead of the number pad.  To communicate well, it is always best to use real words in their proper spelling.  For example, stop using "UR" instead of "Your".

Texting is a brilliant way to miscommunicate how you feel, and misinterpret what other people mean. ~ Unknown

2. One or two emojis are nice.

Emojis were created by Shigetaka Kurita in 1998, when he was working for DoCoMo (a Japanese mobile communication company). These are different than emoticons, as emojis are actual pictures, whereas emoticons use actual keyed items to create the picture.  i.e. ; ) versus  

Saying a quick I Love You and adding a heart emoji shows a deeper level of affection.  Words and pictures work together to create emotions.  While as neither are weak, but when put together, it conveys a stronger more deep meaning.

3. Texting is an appropriate alternative to hollering.

toilet paper text

Have you ever been on the opposite side of your home and you just needed one thing.  Or you ran out of toilet paper and it's in the basement garage? Oh sure, you could yell for a cry of help. Or, simply pull out your phone (it was with you anyways, what else are you supposed to do on the porcelain throne?) and send a quick message to your spouse and have him get the needed toilet paper.  Yelling should be reserved for life & death emergencies or winning football games...whichever comes first.

4. Respond to every text that your spouse sends you.

The silent treatment is a cruel mistress. She will hurt you and your marriage every time.  Even if it's a simple "ok" or "sure". If your spouse sends a message, respond to it as soon as you safely can.  Obviously, this is not when you're driving or in the middle of work (and your boss has a no-cell-phone policy in place).  But if you're at the store and you hear that familiar jingle, take the time to respond.  This shows that you feel that their voice is important and conveys respect to them.  It shows that you love hearing what they are telling you and you care about them enough to respond.   And while you're at it, dedicate a special sound to their text tone.  Whether it be a quote from your favorite movie (like my favorite Christmas movie here)  the song played at your wedding, or something funny, make it unique to just them.  So now when you hear that sound, you will always know that it is your loved one sending you a message.

5. Absolutely, never ever ever, argue or have important discussions over text.

It won't work.  Trust me on this one. The argument will fall flat.  Tempers will flare.  Raging emojis will be sent back and forth.  Nothing will be accomplished except your data plan just lost a 1/2gig of memory.  The reason for this goes back to the first rule.  When having an argument, words are just words in a text message.  There is no emotion.  The reader will read and interpret those words based on their feelings at that very moment.   A simple text of "you're late" suddenly can turn into a massive disagreement because at that moment you knew you were late, you had 5 red-lights in a row, work had you stay late because it was busy, and you had to get gasoline for the vehicle.  Those simple 2 words were not the issue, it was everything else that was going on at the moment.

To have a good marriage make sure you fill each text message with all the right information. Click To Tweet

The same rule applies to important discussions such as where are we spending the holidays this year? My parents' house or yours?  Should I quit my job?  Or even statements like, I'm not feeling well or I'm starting to panic and be really worried.  All of these require actual talking and communication by giving your full attention to each other.

Following these 5 simple rules of texting will save you a lot of headaches and pain in your marriage.  Texting is only a communication tool. It does not, and should not, replace you.  You are not an electronic voice.  You are a real person, with feelings and emotions, and love for the other.  Use your voice and your presence to maximize all these benefits and create true communication.

2 thoughts on “5 Rules of Texting that Will Change Your Marriage

  1. You are correct, texting is a good way to communicate with my wife when I am in the yard and she is somewhere inside the house. I do think sometimes that society as a whole we may be just a wee bit too immature for texting, as receiver and sender. Thanks for sharing!

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