Why I ask my Husband to Fry the Bacon

Why I ask my husband to fry the bacon

That salty, crispy piece of heaven.

Time can stop for a few moments while we ponder the joys of bacon.

It tastes delicious

Crispy and hot or cold and crumbled – it doesn’t matter. It is still good.

It perfumes the house better than any spray of Febreeze can do with its wafting aroma.  

It makes any food better.  Unsure?  Just try it.  

Bacon and eggs?  Isn’t that similar to peanut butter and jelly?

Bacon biscuit?  Delicious.

I’m not sure how healthy bacon is in general, but I know it’s incredibly delicious.  Gwyneth Paltrow

Bacon on a burger?  Of course!?  (I’m not really sure why this is a question.)

Freshly made German Potato Salad with bacon brings back amazing memories of my childhood.

Bacon crumbled and put on a salad?  Divine.

Bacon in a milkshake – sigh.  For some people (ahem! The rest of my family, in-laws included) this is a big deal for them and will be ordered at their next visit at Five Guys Burgers.  But I digress.

 

In our marriage though, there is one rule.  If the husband is home, I will always ask him to fry the bacon.

The simple reason?  Because he can, and he’s really good at it.

As a wife, I’m perfectly capable of doing almost everything in the house.  I run it pretty well.  Laundry, changing the lightbulbs, cleaning, cooking the meals, getting the kids to do their chores, getting the library books back on time, paying the bills…you name it, I can do it.

Oh sure, there are days I don’t feel like doing all of the household items, but they still have to be done.

Our marriage is made stronger when he cooks the bacon.

When I ask for help, I am showing that I need him.  

The Superwoman that I am may not desperately need the help.  But if I don’t need him, then why would he feel important or special in our house?  Need is attached to want. As silly as this thought is, think about it.  How many men are actually needed INSIDE of the home?  

When they are needed to help, i.e. dress the kids, cook dinner, clean the bathroom, will I let them do it their way?  Will I be able to let the clothes stay on the child? Will I go back and rearrange the dishwasher when he is done so it’s perfectly loaded my way?

(Don’t do it.  I passionately implore you.  It’s a trap! The 40 cents that will be spent on running the dishwasher load a second time with the leftover dishes are not worth the battle that was just lost.)   

It’s not a laziness issue or saving money concern.  It is a need and trust issue. 

While I firmly believe I should always do my best, to the glory of God, I can get so easily trapped here.  The trap is I need to appear as the perfect wife. I must do it all perfectly, or I am failing.  This problem turns into perfectionism.

Perfectionism is not the same thing has striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It’s a shield. It’s a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from flight – Bréne Brown, Gifts of Imperfection

 When I ask my husband to help me, I am showing him that I value him

Value is defined as having relative worth, utility, or importance by Merriam Webster.  I want my husband to know that he has more worth to me than the paycheck that he brings home.  I want his expertise, his opinion, his thoughts, and his presence.  All of these are important for our relationship to thrive.  

When I ask for help in the little things, it shows my vulnerability and exposes me.  My vulnerability is not kryptonite to me as superwoman.  In fact, it is where my true strength lies.  

I am only as strong as I am openly vulnerable. I can put on a good front and try to be brave and strong, but without true vulnerability then I am as hollow as a dead log.  One bad storm in life, and I will crumble.

When I ask for help, I am building up my bank of desire.

As a wife, I want to be desirous of my husband. I want to be able to enjoy his presence romantically and intimately, but there is a flipside of this.  If I do not need him in the daily tasks of life, then why would I want him in the passionate moments as well.  

What I need will be what I desire.  What I don’t desire, I will never need.

If I lose my desire for my husband, will I appreciate it when he comes home from working hard all day?  Will I want his arms around me to comfort me?  Or, really want his intimate advances and kisses?  Probably not.  

The more I appreciate my husband, the more I will want him.

You may not eat bacon in your house. Frying bacon may not be your husband’s forte.  However, there probably is a task that you can ask your husband to do. 

The task is not the issue, find what works for your home.  A marriage is a union of 2 people into one flesh.  One whole flesh.  One equal flesh that has differing abilities and gifts.  One does not outshine the other but compliments them.  Marriage partners help each other and in turn build each other up till they are better than what was.

Bacon makes just about anything better, and yes, it has made my marriage better too!

 

 

4 thoughts on “Why I ask my Husband to Fry the Bacon”

  1. Hi Johanna, I read this the other day and for some reason I couldn’t get my comment to go but it was worth the read again. Yes, Yes and Yes on bacon, except the shake. I’m not so sure about that one.

    You’ve given great advice. My husband used to do the dishes for me (no dishwasher at that time) and I made the mistake of mentioning how long he was going to let them soak before washing them. He never washed dishes again. I learned my lesson very quick. I kept my mouth shut when he helped around the house with other things.

    I really enjoy reading your posts and happy that you have joined PAC with us.

  2. Hi johanna,

    Awesome article - loved it! I thought I was going to be reading a great recipe for cooking bacon at first ;-) We choose our partner on how they make us feel - both consciously and subconsciously. Being a bloke who would be on the other end of this article as such I couldn't agree more with this article! I should mention that if your husband has a physically demanding job give him a chance to unwind from work first before asking him to do anything might be wise too :-) I am single now so don't put too much stock in that last statement ;-)

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