5 Ways to Increase Intimacy – Friday Fifths

increase intimacy

Today on Friday 5th's, we're looking at ways to increase intimacy in your marriage. 

So try these simple 5 quick tips.  None of them take a long time, but the far-reaching effects can dramatically improve the

intimacy look

 intimacy and love in your marriage.

1. Look at your spouse IN the eyes for more than 10 seconds

In America, making eye contact when talking with someone shows confidence.  In Europe, seeking out eye contact or returning the gaze shows that you are interested in a relationship.  In Asia & Africa, avoiding eye contact shows a sign of respect or honor to the person they are talking to.   

Some cultures & religions have shown that prolonged eye gazing creates a deep intimate bond between the people who do this.

And that is exactly what is needed for a couple.  

A bond.

A deep bond to bind them together through difficult times

So I encourage you to try it.  It may actually be harder than you think.  Often times, the longer you look, the more open and vulnerable you feel.  But that vulnerability is exactly what binds you two together.  I think that Brené Brown summed it up perfectly.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” – Brené Brown

Living life is risky, no one is perfect, and we all have vulnerabilities.  But when we look past those (and deep into the eyes of the one we love) we do discover a closer unity and a togetherness that was not there before.

Simply put, this increases intimacy in your marriage

Living life is risky, no one is perfect, and we all have vulnerabilities. But when we look past those (and deep into the eyes of the one we love) we do discover a closer unity and a togetherness that was not there before. Click To Tweet

2. Compliment how they look

A strong misconception that I had for years was...that only women like to be complimented on their appearance.  The new clothes, the shoes, the hair, the makeup, matching purse...all of those things are important to a woman.  I cannot disagree with this at all.  But that does not mean a man thinks his appearance is worthless.  

You will find that as you find ways to give sincere compliments to your husband that he too will feel loved and adored.

Whether it be about his nice dress shirt on a Sunday morning, a t-shirt that makes his biceps show a little bit more, the color of the shirt makes his eyes stand out a bit more, or even he put together an outfit that was not his usual go-to matching, but it looks good on him...all of these are easy ways that you can compliment your husband on his attire. 

Try it for 2 weeks, and you will be surprised at how it will change your marriage.

3. A hug & a loving touch goes a long way

For a relationship to survive, there must be mutual love and understanding.  But there must also be a feeling of togetherness; this is easily created by touch.

Touch seems to be as essential as sunlight ~ Diane Ackerman

Just as we would not expect flowers to grow without sunlight, then a marriage will not grow without touch.  This touch is not a social handshake that one would extend to a total stranger. But it is a loving touch.

It also can be a flirtatious touch of enticing the other of a romantic evening together

Touch can be comforting and soothing after a long difficult day at work or with the children at home.

No matter the type of loving touch that is given, it must be given as sunlight. A life-giving requirement that encourages a garden of love to grow. And grow it will! Click To Tweet As the gentle rays of sunlight beam onto a simple garden, very soon will the flowers bud and take shape. Roses will begin to bloom. Spicy herbs to flavor the soup of life. Healthy vegetable to give the marriage strength to overcome hurdles.  And so will gentle little offsprings and seeds to continue till the next generation.

But all of this requires touch.

4. Wink at them

Simply put, find a way to flirt with your spouse.  Affectionately tease them. Entice them to laugh and anticipate the romantic times to come. 

winking intimacy

It doesn't matter if it is a quick little wink of the eye, sending them a cute little text or gif, or whispering a sweet little something in their ear...find your flirtatious way of letting your spouse know that they are special and that you love them.

5. Say I love you, and have your actions really mean it

In every relationship, words are very important.  But if your life and your mannerisms do not back up those words, they are meaningless.  

If you really want to tell someone that you love them, considering taking all of these steps in order.  

Start by looking deeply into their eyes, compliment them on how they look, give loving touch, flirt with them.  And finally, say I love you.

By doing all of these things in the right order will make those 3 simple little words very meaningful.  It shows that you actually do care about them.  You want them.  You care for them.  And yes, you do love them.

love intimacy

So I encourage you to try all of the 5 ways to increase intimacy in your marriage.  Let me know in the comments below how they worked for you!

4 thoughts on “5 Ways to Increase Intimacy – Friday Fifths

  1. Hi Johanna,
    These five ways are great to keep that intimacy alive in our marriage. I have been married to my wonderful husband for 27 years now and I still feel like we are honeymooners at times. A little wink, a compliment, but most importantly a touch can keep things alive.
    I thank God each and every day he is by my side. We not only live together but work at home in our home office together. We go food shopping together. All these things make our marriage a wonderful experience. (Sorry for the rant lol but I sincerely am grateful for what we have)

  2. That was a beautiful rant! I loved it 🙂 . And congratulations to you two lovebirds; you have found some of the many keys to happiness. And if you’re anything like a normal woman, only a man in love can go grocery shopping together. I know my husband would rather spend time with me just about anywhere other than Walmart and Aldi’s, but he does it because he loves me. And I’m so grateful that he chooses to spend time with me even during the mundane tasks of life. They’re just a tiny bit more special because of that.

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