The Wrong Shade of Green

An St. Patrick’s Day Wish to End Jealousy.

How do others succeed when I don’t?
 
I wish I could change the font color of this.  Now some people probably couldn’t read it without the white and black contrast.  But I would change this font green. In fact, I would make everything green on this page.
 
Green pictures. Green font.  Green highlights. Green. Green. Green.
 
While it may be the perfect color for St. Patricks Day, spring grass, and a golf course.
 
It isn’t here.

An St. Patrick's Day Wish

 
It simply is jealousy all wrapped up in a perfect nasty little wrapper.
 
Success, by definition, is the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals.
 
I like how the definition states the “favorable termination of attempts or endeavors”.  There is an actual end to it.
 
An ending.  Isn’t that what we all want.  A finishing or completion of what I am doing?  I want this task done.
 
I want it to be done well.  I want it done successfully.  I want the task to pay me well financially.
 
Jealousy strikes me when I do not have that favorable termination. I’m not jealous one iota when I am successful and so is my best friend.  When I am happy, I love that others are happy as well. When I’m healthy, I’m not complaining about the good health of my friends.
 
For real.  I’m not.
 
But when life isn’t going well, that is when jealousy puts its little hooks inside of me.  Often, I don’t realize its presence when it first comes. It appears like a little sigh or a wish for better things.
 
Gradually, jealousy begins to grow as I give it place within my heart.  The setbacks start to mount. Tiredness sets it. Jealousy loves a disappointed heart.  It giggles menacingly to itself when it sees me tired.
 
Not a good tired of when I have finished my to-do list for the day.  
 
No, a disappointed, stuck-in-the-mud, everything went wrong day kind of tired.
 
Jealousy also loves pain.
 
So why do others succeed when I don’t.
 
My measuring stick for success is off.
 
In the blogging world, is my measure of success a hefty paycheck?  75 retweets on twitter? 1200 likes on Instagram? 400 shares on Facebook.  
 
While all those are really good to have.  (ok, seriously, I would prefer a heavier retweet list on Twitter, but the illustration stands)  Will that make me happy? After about 5 minutes, it won’t.
 
Jealousy as a wife strikes way too often if I’m not careful.  Its insidious presence comes often as a wish. Or at least it tries to look as innocent as wish.
 
I wish my home was prettier.  I wish my clothes were nicer, like hers.  I wish my husband would show his love for me, just like my friend’s husband.
Being jealous of a beautiful woman is not going to make you beautiful. Zsa Zsa Gabor
 
When I start comparing my home with my friends, I will always have the lesser home.  The same way if I compare my husband’s skill sets against someone else. A pressure washer & realtor can never compete against an surgeon.  
 
On the outside, having a surgeon or master chef for a husband sounds incredible. But, each man’s roles carry have their own positives and negatives.  
 
My husband may come filthy dirty after cleaning out gutters, but the surgeon comes home with dried blood and bodily fluids on him.  Umm..maybe the balances on the scale aren’t so far off.
 
My husband’s work rarely makes him work super late hours, but a surgeon can be on-call all hours of the day and night.  
 
Your husband may not be the vice-president in his company, but he excels at something.  He is successful in the way he loves you, or how he provides for your family.
 
When I step back and rethink success.  I realize that my measure of success has got to be something different.  I can’t read the blog stats, get disappointed with the results, and expect something to be different tomorrow, neither can I compare a Pressure Washer to a Surgeon.  It’s not comparing apples to apples. What does need to change…is me.
 
The change begins 3 inches below my breastbone.  My heart. I am the one who has to stop circling the drain of jealousy.  It may seem like positive movement, but in reality, I know what happens to the drains of the world.
 
Any mother who watched Finding Nemo seventy-nine times in one year will know, the drains lead to the ocean.  But the ocean is not my home. Tennessee is my home. If I am going to thrive, then I need to bloom where I am planted.  I need to stop being jealous of other’s successes.
 
One of the best ways to stop jealousy is gratitude.  Take a small journal and write down things that you can show gratitude about today.  
 
There’s even an app for that.  Truly!
 
HappyFeed encourages you to find 3 things every day that you be thankful for.  (No, this isn’t a promo or Ad, I just like it). They even let you take pictures of those 3 things so you can scan back and remember.
 
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Melody Beattie
 When jealousy starts to dye your life a sickly shade of green, start looking back and be grateful for those many joys in your lifeBefore the wave of nastiness settles over you, review your accomplishments.  Success may be a prosperous termination of hard work, but success is also found in the happiness of this moment.
 
Gratitude for others and our accomplishments is a reversal of jealousy.  You can be free of this nasty green bug. Take some time today to show gratitude and you’ll see that wave leave and the blue in the sky starting to return.

5 thoughts on “The Wrong Shade of Green”

  1. Oh my comparison robs you of self-worth I think. And the “Green monster” can cause a great deal of havoc in one’s like for sure. We’re not meant to be like someone or something else. We create our own life stories to learn from them, Enjoyed your post …

  2. It makes me a bit sad to read about jealousy. It reminds me that the only way out is in. The best solution for this is really to be grateful. To remember to be grateful right after opening the eyes in the morning, makes a beautiful day .

  3. Hi Johanna,
    How fitting for this to be written in the “green season” of Saint Patrick’s Day. The analogies were right on target.

    So many little things and feelings can cause problems where there shouldn’t be. Keep up the good work.

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